So... how does it really feel to be sick?

I actually get asked this question quite often and it is a hard one to answer, partially because as I am going thru the day I try not to think about it as much as possible.  Sometimes, I go thru the day quite normally (I think) until someone says that I look tired or like I am dragging that day.  After that I realize that I really do feel lousy and have a more difficult time.  I appreciate the support and caring and recognition when I might need some extra help...  sometimes I just don't want to be honest with myself!

A friend gave me this story to read which describes what it feels like far better than I could.  It's a little long, but well worth the read.  I started to tear up reading it because I identified so much with what she is saying.

The Spoon Theory

At some point in their lives, everyone will likely deal with a loved one being sick or being sick themselves--whether for a short period of time or on a more chronic basis.  This article helped me a lot in understanding what is happening, particularly with the changes from day to day.  Some days I have a few more "spoons" and am able to run around and do a lot just like I used to.  Other days, the "spoons" are more limited and I have to pick and choose.  Some days I have virtually no spoons...

An example that happened today...  at work tomorrow there is a project involving yard work and beautifying some apartments that we own and I was invited to participate.  Now, one thing that you need to know is that I absolutely HATE yard work (which is why I live in a condo); however, if I felt well I would probably pitch in at least for a while.  But I know that if I do, then I will likely be in bed exhausted for the whole weekend.  I actually feel guilty making the choice not to help because it probably isn't everyone else's favorite thing to do either.  But, I need to make choices and decide how I will use my spoons and not feel selfish about doing that.  And I need a relaxing and somewhat fun weekend to prepare myself for next week.  If that's selfish, then so be it...   I did a lot of running around and extra things all week long that also benefit our clients.