Like my opinion matters... Stumpy Burger (restaurant review)

May 2010-- Its a sad day but Stumpy Burger has closed.  Don't know why, but it is pretty darn empty inside.   The quest for the perfect burger continues on but a stumpy burger will always have a special place in my heart...

I've talked about it.. I've already said that Stumpy Burger is the best hamburger place in the valley.  I've even risked my reputation (and possibly my health and well being) by saying that it is better than Five Guys or In-n-Out Burger...  Let the 5 star rating out of the hat--but I haven't blogged about it.  So here it is, my official review of Stumpy Burger (located at 225 W. Center St. in Provo). 

As a side note, pictures taken with a camera phone aren't the best.  I have several cameras that would take better pictures, but it is so much fun to whip out my little spy camera, take a quick picture, and not make a total spectacle of myself.  Maybe bad pictures can be a trademark of the blog...

Hand-formed and grilled burgers are the specialty of Stumpy Burger and come in three sizes.  The first time I went, I was hungry and thought that the smallest size (1/4 lb) seemed too small, and the large size (not sure how big it is because I never really considered that one) was definitely too big, so I ordered the middle sized one (1/2 lb) which in the Goldilocks tradition seemed like it would be just right.  It wasn't!  Much too big, and I couldn't finish it despite my best efforts.  Now one would think that a 1/4 lb burger at McDonalds and a 1/4 lb burger at Stumpy's would be close to the same size.  Quality of meat must make a huge difference because the 1/4 lb Bandit burger at Stumpy's was plenty big, much bigger than a quarter pounder. The burger pictured is the Bandit Burger. 

Burgers come with pickles and onion, and for an additional price you can get grilled onions and cheese.  No bacon, but I haven't really missed it.  Go for the grilled onions instead of fresh though--they are delicious-- and the meat is seasoned just right.  Seemed kind of pepper-y the first time I ate there which I loved, although not quite as pepper-y since then.  In fact, that first burger is the one that I will compare all other burgers to.  They have been good since, but I don't know that they have quite measured up to the first....  Funny, seems like I have heard addicts talk the same language.  Chasing the hamburger high....

Don't think you can get a burger to go and eat it in your car... you will be a mess because the burgers are drippy and messy.  Plan on using a handful of napkins.  Combo meals are available with regular or curly fries-- or onion rings for a little more money-- and a drink.  The price of a combo meal is between $8-10.  The regular fries are quite thick, nicely salted, and fry sauce is available for the truly health conscious.  Only in Utah can you take a healthy food like a french fry and make it even healthier by adding fry sauce (sarcasm, if you didn't catch it...)!  Even better than the fry sauce though is Stumpy's Horsey Sauce.  It is the BEST on both your burger and fries--not too hot or spicy, just adds the right little kick! The regular fries are my favorite but the curly fries and onion rings are also very good. 

The menu has a few other main dish items on it-- but the only other sandwich I have tried was the hot dog which I enjoyed.  "Mrs Stumpy" told us that they are famous for their chocolate shakes and after trying one, she may be right.  Great shakes!  There were 2 cherries on this shake but they disappeared before the picture was taken so you will need to imagine them to get the total effect.  They also have hard ice cream, chocolate dipped strawberries, cream pie-- you get the idea... 

The decor is a little bit hillbilly with raccoons all over the place.  In fact, everyone working there sports a raccoon tail.  Not sure what the significance of that is, but I'm sure that there's a good story behind it that I will find out when they aren't so busy.  Hillbilly and roadkill kind of go together in my mind, but I'm guessing that isn't the connection they are going for...  I do know that "Mr and Mrs Stumpy" had a restaurant somewhere else (maybe in the mid-west..for some reason I'm not remembering details tonight.  Must be time for a weekend!) and felt inspired to move and feed the people of Provo.  Thank goodness for inspiration like that!

Just to make it official, in case you missed it in all the subtleties above... Stumpy Burger may not be fancy but serves a burger that you can dream about... so it gets my 5 Star rating and I know that I will be back.